The Doorway

I mistake death’s door for a classroom
but my old teacher denies me entry.
There’s a heated debate inside
for which I haven’t studied, so I step back,
embarrassed, and let the dream swing shut. 

At dawn, I think maybe happiness is this.
Maybe there isn’t any trick to it,
just the dogs rolling over, the doves landing
on the rail and taking flight again, breath
weaving through our ribs, blue swallowing
the moon’s ghost. Maybe this is happiness

becoming wariness when I name it—

I’ve never been clever enough
to stop trying, to let light pour
through windows and stand in it.

Encryption 

You’ll have to hack yourself, the agent says,
meaning, that ghost from spring of ’16,
who never knew (now) me 

or that we’d need later to remember
a decision made between swipes accepting
unread terms; the screen goes blank,
my brain, static; a bad spy,

I keep accumulating out of myself, accruing
memory or condensing it; themes emerge
from quadrants of animals and hobbies,
but not answers; whoever I was then
remains at strange distance, a shed habit,

 until, eyes averted, I type
a name and number
from muscle, free a former self

Vision

Home from an eye exam
I duck into my dark bathroom
unable to meet the mirror’s eyes:
wide illegible pools, blank
expanses nestled in my skull.
I wash and think how little I know
myself, or how well—so one change unravels
the dream of being whole and stable. I’m numb
now as after dental work, dull as a fever
stumbling across the gap (the overlap)
between body and soul. I pull
the blinds against light and listen
as doves announce a storm.

Author’s Biography

Ceridwen Hall is a poet and book coach. She helps poets and novelists plan, create, and revise compelling manuscripts with one-on-one coaching and inspiring feedback. She holds a PhD from the University of Utah and is the author of two chapbooks: Automotive (Finishing Line Press) and Excursions (Train Wreck Press). Her work has appeared in TriQuarterly, Pembroke Magazine, Tar River Poetry, The Cincinnati Review, and other journals. You can find her at www.ceridwenhall.com.